


I'm Fine (I'm Not)

by CallMeUnni



Series: Unrequited Love Stories (KPOP) [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Insecure Oh Sehun, Insecurity, Kim Jongin | Kai Is A Jerk, M/M, Oh Sehun is Bad at Feelings, Oh Sehun-centric, One-Sided Attraction, Revelations, Sad, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21985477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeUnni/pseuds/CallMeUnni
Summary: Jongin turns down Sehun.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Series: Unrequited Love Stories (KPOP) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1582642
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	I'm Fine (I'm Not)

"I'm sorry, Sehun. I'm flattered but you're honestly not my type."

"That's fine," says Sehun with the usual expressionless face. Sehun normally gets upset at himself for being emotionally constipated, but right here, at this moment, he's more thankful than ever.

"We can still be friends, right?" Jongin asked, his adorable eyes were brimming with hope.

Ugh. Gross. "Yeah."

\--

"Sehun! Sehun!"

Sehun groans as he picks his head up from the desk, quickly wiping away the drool that has accumulated on his homework. He took out his earbuds and shoots Jongin a dirty look.

"I got a date!"

Sehun raises an eyebrow. "With who?"

"Only the cutest boy, Do Kyungsoo! I've been pining after him since school started."

_I've been in love with you since the seventh grade._

Sehun realizes that Jongin doesn't have any tact because he literally confessed to him yesterday and gotten rejected in less than five minutes. Why is Jongin rubbing it in his face that his feelings for another person ended up being reciprocated? Couldn't he wait? It's like Sehun's feelings are minuscule; like they don't matter.

It's not the first time people think that Sehun doesn't have any feelings.

"Sehun." 

He groans out a, "What?" Can't Jongin leave him alone to angst all by himself? Don't all high-schoolers go through this phase? Leave him to do it peace.

"Are you okay, Sehun? I heard-"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? They said that you almost broke your ankle playing soccer. You're usually careful about that kind of stuff. Especially when the next game has scouts coming-"

"When did you care about me playing soccer?!" Sehun snapped. Jongin's eyes widened in shock. This is the first time that calm and collected Sehun _ever_ raised his voice at him. "If I say I'm fine, I'm fine."

"S-"

"I'm leaving. Don't walk me home."

\--

They haven't talked or texted since the (one-sided) fight. That doesn't mean Sehun hasn't been paying attention to Jongin. From the outside, Jongin seems fine. He converses with the rest of his friends normally. Especially interactions with the student council president Do Kyungsoo.

According to everybody else, they're an official couple.

Sehun feels like he's going crazy. Here he is worried that he finally fucked up the only friendship he's ever made and Jongin doesn't care. Jongin was the one who asked to still be friends after that miserable confession. In the past, Sehun was always the more mature one in the friendship, patching things up as quickly as he can. It didn't matter who's fault it was.

Should he talk to Jongin first? What is he supposed to say? Apologize? For what?

Is Sehun just disposable because Jongin has so many fiends?

Sehun opens his locker and did a double take. There's nothing there. He always shared a locker with Jongin since his was closer to class. Dammit. Sehun has to talk to him now to get his textbooks. He'll get in trouble in class if he doesn't have his textbook today.

_Fuck it. I'll just skip class for today._

It's not the first time Sehun skipped class but it's not like he does it all the time. He has to at least graduate high school. As for after high school aspirations; he doesn't know anymore. His performance at soccer practice has been diminishing. He just might not get that sports scholarship.

Sehun is so pathetic.

He has a chance for a bright future but one rejection has set him back so much. Maybe it's because Jongin is the first person he ever bonded with. Sehun always stuck himself to his older brother who played both mother and father after their parents walked out to tend to their new families.

_That's right. Remember Junmyeon-hyung._ He can't work a dead end job forever. Junmyeon is more talented than that. Sehun's promise is to make enough money so that Junmyeon can finish school.

Sehun can't lose sight about what is important.

\--

It's game day. As Sehun warmed up, he watched as the bleachers start to fill up. Junmyeon couldn't be here because of work. Sehun isn't surprised; Junmyeon has forbidden him to get a job so he can focus on school. Unfortunately, that means Junmyeon has to work double shifts to put food on the table.

Unfortunately, that also means Sehun is alone again.

\--

They won the game against Big-Hit high school.

But Sehun doesn't particularly have anybody to share the win with. All of his teammates' friends came rushing down to congratulate them on the win.

The thing is: people know Sehun but he's such a loner that nobody bothers to interact with him.

That's fine.

Sehun quietly retreated to the locker room.

\--

Sehun realizes his problem.

He's not fine.

He never was.

Who told him to put up this guard that would end up making him miserable? Nobody. Sehun doesn't have to go through this.

He bothered to color coordinate his clothes this time, he made his hair neater than usual, and put on a little bit of pink tinted lip balm. He looked in the mirror and nodded in approval; now he doesn't look like the depressed mess he has been the past few weeks.

Sehun is going to Jongin dance show. Jongin never once came to Sehun's soccer games. It was always about Jongin's dancing, about how talented he is. Sehun always showed up for every single one of them without fail.

But this was different. Sehun is finally going to tell Jongin how he feels.

\--

The show was over. Jongin looked handsome as usual and absolutely killed the dance routine. But he doesn't need to hear it from Sehun.

Sehun walks backstage only to see Jongin feverishly making out with Kyungsoo. His eye twitched at the sight. Ugh. Gross. Sehun doesn't have all day to be polite and wait for them to finish so he cleared his throat to get their attention.

The couple stopped and pushed away each other. There was an short awkward silence. 

Sehun broke it first. "I need to talk to Jongin. Alone."

Luckily, Kyungsoo has more tact than his boyfriend and scurries away.

Once they made sure there were no one else, Jongin walked up to him nervously. "Hey, how are you Sehun? I haven't seen you in a long time."

"Me either." Sehun knows from experience that his cold and icy expressions make people uncomfortable even though they might not mean a thing. Jongin was no different.

"I heard you won the game. Everybody says you were a beast on the field-"

"Jongin, shut up. We both know that you don't care. After this, I'm never going to speak to you again." Jongin presses his lips together into a thin line. Sehun took a deep breath and exhaled. "I want to say that I loved you ever since the 7th grade. Now that I think about it, I don't what I had seen in you. You're a horrible friend. You barely know anything about me- just my fucking name. We knew each other since the fucking seventh grade, Jongin. We live next to each other. We hanged out every single day. It wasn't until our senior year of high school you knew that I had a older brother. What does that say about us?"

"Is it really my fault? You don't say anything," Jongin mumbled.

"You're right, I didn't say anything. That's why I'm saying something now."

Jongin looks troubled. "I-I'm sorry," his voice broke a bit at the end. Sehun's eyes soften.

"I hope you learn from this. Goodbye."

And that was it.

Goodbye.

They never spoke to each other again.


End file.
